It's All Because of Her
by mayaoneechan13
Summary: It's Christmas time, but Misty has the holiday blues. Can May help her with her troubles? Oneshot Contest and Pearlshipping, from Misty's POV. Rated T for minor use of language.


"Hey, Misty."

I look up. The messy haired boy is standing in front of me, looking concerned. Aqua meets dark as I stare into his eyes. It was the one part of that boy that ever had any claim to perfection.

He holds out his hand. "The party's starting. Aren't you going to join us?"

I sigh. He can be so kind, yet so clueless all at once. "Maybe later, Ash."

He looks confused. "Why?" He asks, now questioning me.

"I don't know." I answer awkwardly. "Maybe I just need to think about some things."

"Alright." He says, standing up to leave. "Suit yourself. I'll see you later, ok?"

He turns, giving me one last glance, and then disappears through double-doors into the hall where a Christmas bash was taking place.

But not just a Christmas bash.

Yes, Ash and friends were celebrating Dawn's birthday as well. It wasn't the least bit irrational; after all, Dawn's birthday was on the 28th. So why do I feel this way?

_Don't worry about it,_ I tell myself. _It was bound to happen anyway._

The thought didn't help my down-in-the-dumps mood any more than Dawn's Mamoswine helped her in contests. Which is to say, none at all.

Giving up on trying to give myself a pep-talk, I stand up from the bench and walk towards the music. I can't bring myself to swing open that door, though. Not now.

"Oh, Misty! Stop acting this way! This isn't you and you know it!" I scold myself, slapping my face. Taking a deep breath, I put on my best smile and step into the hall.

The hall is most definitely decked, as the carol goes. _Fa-la-la-la-la and all that. _With garland and a twinkling Christmas tree, too.

Right now, everyone seems to be hanging out, talking, or getting a snack or two. I take a look around, scanning the room for someone I know and can talk to. _Man, I guess Ash has met a lot more people since I left…_I think, taking in all the unfamiliar faces. But there's one I know for sure…

"May!"I call to the chestnut-haired girl, and she gives me a friendly wave. This I took as a come-join-us-over-here sort of gesture, and walked over to see her.

"Great to see you again!" She greets me happily.

I nod in return. "Yeah, it's been a long time. How is it working out in Sinnoh so far?"

"Oh, you know. Not so great. You win some, you lose some…especially when cabbage-top enters." Her voice turned to a whisper on that last comment.

"…Cabbage-top? You mean that guy?" I ask her, turning to look at a green-haired boy who was standing a short distance away.

"Mm-hmm. His name's Drew. I met him at my first contest in Hoenn. I'm guessing you don't know him?"

"Nope." I tell her, and she gestures me to follow her.

" Drew! Over here!" She gets his attention.

"Drew" turns. I can't help but notice that everything about his pretty-boy face is green as well. No wonder May called him "cabbage-top".

"Hey, May. What is it?" He asks.

"This is my friend Misty." May explains. "She's the Cerulean Gym leader."

"A gym leader, huh? Must be pretty good." He holds out his hand. "Pleased to meet you."

I shake his hand in return. "Yep. Nice to meet you too, Drew. So…what do you do with your pokémon?"

It feels a bit stupid, the way I tried to strike up a conversation. He's so mature, unlike a certain boy I knew…

"I'm a coordinator." He replies. "I'm in a lot of contests. It's kind of hard to get all 5 ribbons in time to join a grand festival, but I manage."

"A-ha!" May interrupts. "So you DO admit it's hard…"

"Only hard for someone with as little style as you." Drew smirks, and May starts to get annoyed.

"You-you JERK!" she shouts, attempting to attack him. All Drew has to do is put his hand in her face to keep her from being able to do so.

I sweated. Trying to think of something to say, I settle on, "You two seem to know each other really well."

Both look a bit dumbfounded. Then May stutters, "Uh…well, we have known each other since Ash's Hoenn days…"

I cock an eyebrow. "That's long enough."

She looks confused. "Long enough for what?"

"You know. Are you guys…um…"I begin.

"…Boyfriend and girlfriend?" Drew finishes for me. I nod a "yes". "Yeah. The closest." He replies, turning to May.

May has turned a deep shade of red. "Drew! You're embarrassing meeee…!" She half squeals on the last note.

"Chill out. You know it's true, don't deny it." He says, looking calm and collected as ever, yet smirking.

The two walk away, still arguing. I stare for a moment, then walk away. _So much for him being mature… _I think to myself. _Those two remind me of the way Ash and I were. _

A little pain streaks through my heart. Ash. It always comes back to Ash. Why does this always happen? Why can't I just forget it already? _Ash, if only you had known then…_

My thoughts are interrupted by everyone gathering on the dance floor. After being turned down by Solidad— or whatever her name was— Brock seems to have self-elected himself to be temporary DJ. He selects a song that really sets the mood, and then goes to talk to that girl again. Out of generosity she gives in, but Brock's reaction is quite funny.

I lean against the wall, being the odd one out. Everyone else has someone to dance with, and they aren't all couples. So why can't I find anyone?

I look for Tracey. No one would think it was weird if I hung out with him, because there were rumors we liked each other. I'll admit, he's a great friend. And he gave me my Azumarill. But I don't like him _that_ way. It's my sister Daisy who does, although she abuses him worse than I did to Ash. When I spot him with the golden-haired beauty on the dance floor, I feel a bit sorry for him. The poor guy can't really dance, and my sister seems to be giving him a quick crash course in it.

My eyes wander to that girl with short teal hair— Angie, was that her name? In a sense, we had something in common. We both had, at one time, a crush on Ash. The difference was once she was over it, she was over it. While I'd forgotten my crush, I developed some real feelings for him. _Distance makes the heart grow fonder, isn't that how it goes? _

Anyways, she was sticking with Kenny, although Kenny was clearly not interested in her. He kept glancing longingly towards that one girl.

She was an excellent dancer, it _was_ her interest before she had gone into coordinating. That pink dress of hers exaggerated her beauty in every possible way, swishing around with each step she took. It was definitely one of a kind, after all, it was designer quality. Of the fancy variety, it's semi-low cut with some frills around the neckline, two tones of pink, simple on the bottom with a few modest designs embroidered upon it. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she had shiny stars in place of her usual round barrettes. She's wearing diamond earrings to match the rhinestones around the base of her dress. Silver heels are her choice of shoe.

I look down at my own outfit. A simple sky-colored dress, with two cerulean fabric flowers sewn in the corner. With plastic earrings, and my favorite sandals. I had worn my hair down, straightened it— but I was so plain, no matter how I look at it. Even Angie, in her halter-top dress and pearls, looks way more attractive than me.

I can't even begin to compare with that girl.

She's so perfect, in so many ways. Born pretty, with a natural streak for making Pokémon and people look good. Never too harsh, or demanding, always kind, and optimistic. A student who listened carefully, and made sure to take advice. She had a loving mother who would do anything for her little girl, and she knew how to make anyone smile. Popular, and friendly, willing to help anyone or anything if they needed it. Determined, never losing sight of her goals. An excellent coordinator, who had become so well known that she had even appeared in a pizza commercial. She was the belle of the ball, always has been, and always will be.

Whereas I was just a mundane gym leader who was always overshadowed by her older sisters.

There was nothing I could do about it, either. I simply hadn't the personality or beauty to compete with her or my sisters. Moreover, that girl had _my_ Ash.

Wait— do I even have the right to think that way anymore? He had chosen her over me, after all.

Sighing, I begin to feel a little jealous. How I wished I was her, that I was the one for Ash. But I wasn't, and I needed to accept that. As much as I told myself that, however, I knew that deep down I wasn't just going to forget about my feelings. _But don't' his feelings matter more? _I ask myself, and think, _Yes, they do…but I can't get over him. Not yet. I guess I'm in for the long haul…_

How time flew so quickly, I don't know, but it's a relief to see everyone start leaving the dance floor. Brock makes an "announcement" calling all of us to pass out presents. Feeling a little better about this less romantic activity, I walked over to join the rest of the group. _Ok. _I think, _this night might turn out ok after all._

We pass out our Christmas gifts to the people whose names we drew out of a hat a few weeks ago. I got a dive ball, and a Togepi plushie. Now, we were passing our gifts to Dawn.

"Thanks, Zoey!"

I broke out of my deep thought in time to see that Zoey had given Dawn a pink barrette for her Buneary. Oh yeah, I had to give Dawn my gift too. How could I have forgotten? I fished around in my purse until I found the paper-wrapped package with a bow and a card. I placed it on the gift table as inconspicuously as possible, then returned to my seat. Dawn had picked up my gift.

"Wow! I've never seen one of these before!" Dawn pulled a Premier Ball out, and held it up for people to see. "Happy early Birthday, Dawn." I smiled. She also seemed to like the sampler set of seals I had given to her, and decided that she would use both gifts in her next contest, at least as soon as she got one of her Pokémon transferred into it.

So now it was Ash's turn. He handed her a somewhat sloppily wrapped gift— it was probably his own work, but the fact he had done it himself reflected one and the same.

Dawn carefully unwrapped the gift and opened a box inside it. It was a new limited-edition Pokétch, pink, of course, with silver accents. "Ash, this is awesome! I've been wanting a new Pokétch!" She squeals happily.

Ash returns her smile. "Look, we match!" Ash tells her, revealing another Pokétch— same model, but in a white/red combination instead.

"Wow! How cool!" Dawn says. "High five!" The two slap each other's hands.

"Yeah, we'll always be together when we match like this, right?" He asks, and gives her a quick peck on the cheek. She blushes. "A-Ash…"the words shakily come from her lips.

Whispers of "Awww!" and "How sweet." are heard from all parts of the crowd. My heart skips a beat. _I knew it. I knew it. I knew it…_

As much as I want to cry, I know I can't. This is Dawn's birthday, as well as Christmas. It's supposed to be happy. I don't want to ruin it for anyone. Especially Ash and Dawn.

Luck is with me, Karaoke is next. Oh wait, is it really with me? The two have been elected by the crowd to sing the first song. The "bluenette" and her messy-haired counterpart take the stage. Their song of choice? High Touch 2009, sung by Megumi Toyoguchi and Rica Matsumoto. The music starts playing and then Ash and Dawn's voices echo across the room, perfectly in tune with both the music and one another.

…_Through today, tomorrow and the day after  
This journey goes forever on, but  
Always......  
Your smile is with me!_

To the north, to the south, east and west  
The scenery goes on changing, but  
No matter where I go......  
Your smile is always there!

You're a nice partner!  
You're a nice rival!  
Protecting me  
Saving me  
Our road goes on through an ever expanding wasteland

Underneath the sky, let's high five!  
We can understand that more easily than words!  
As long as we're together  
We can fly away, facing our dreams…

I have never honestly thought of this song as romantic, but here I am now… and it hurts so much. Why do I wish that I was there with Ash instead of Dawn, even though I know it's not possible?

Ash and Dawn have been through so much together…not to say that Ash and I haven't, but they've gone beyond saving the world together and meeting legendary pokémon. They saved the universe. Three times. They've been to other worlds, and met the guardians of space and time. They've even met "god" or Arceus… which makes even Lugia and the three birds, powerful as they were, look weak. I can never say that I've done what she's done…

This song is actually somewhat romantic, now that I think about it. It's torture. _I can't stand it any longer…_

Without the slightest hint of regret I escape while everyone's eyes are on the couple. Slamming the double doors behind me, I trudge down the hallway to a bench. _What a lousy Christmas this is… _I think to myself. _Ash loves Dawn, I'm heartbroken, and I'm all alone. _

_The worst part? Nobody cares._

That last thought destroyed my final grain of resistance to crying. Tears streaked down my face as I thought about all the times we had back in Kanto. In the Orange Islands. In Johto. In Hoenn, even. Did they mean nothing to him? _Probably…_ I think sadly. _It was all because this bitch of a girl Dawn came around. _I suddenly realize I've shocked myself. _No…I don't really think that. I guess I'm just jealous. Like always. She's not the bad person here. I'm the bitch here. That's why Ash chose her and not me…_

Wallowing in my sorrows is going to do nothing to help, I know, but it's not like I can just forget that easily. It hurts. A lot.

"…Misty?"

I turn towards a familiar face peeking around the corner, her blue eyes filled with worry. Wiping my eyes, I try to fake a smile. "I'm fine, May."

May sits down next to me. "I can tell you're lying by the fact you were crying just a second ago. So what's _really_ bothering you?"

Realizing that I can't pull one over her, I confess. "May, I…I have always liked Ash."

She's surprised, but not as much as I expected her to be. "…So you're heartbroken, I guess."

"Yes…"I sigh, wiping away more tears. "I don't blame Ash for choosing Dawn. She's not going to break down like this…"

"I'm sure she has, you just haven't seen it." She replies soothingly as she can.

"But she's perfect, May! You know it, too… don't you?" I sob. "I can't even begin to compete with her…"

"That's not true and you know it!" May says, and I can't help but disagree with her.

Seeing that I clearly wasn't agreeing with her, she adds, "I have to say that you are still a pretty amazing trainer. You're really nice too…"

"Thanks, May." I wipe my tears away again.

"No problem. I wish I could help you more, but…um, Misty, look who's coming…"

I look. Dawn is walking down the hallway towards us.

"Are you ok?" Dawn asks.

"Never better." I fake a smile again.

"You don't seem like that…" She frowns.

"Personal matter." I say quickly.

Dawn seems concerned. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not really." May replies for me. "You see…she's lost someone."

"I'm so sorry…" Dawn says. "I hope you feel better soon. Here, you can dry your eyes with this." She fishes around in her purse, then pulls out a pink and green patterned handkerchief. I know that handkerchief very well. It was mine before I gave it to Ash.

"Hey Dawn, where'd you get that nice handkerchief?" May asks. _Uh-oh, bad question, May._

Dawn blushes and smiles a bit. "Ash gave it to me. He said it was kind of a good luck charm for him, and he wanted me to have it."

Using the handkerchief, I use it to wipe my eyes, after all, Dawn was just trying to be kind. I'll bet she had no idea it was mine, either. Giving the handkerchief one last squeeze, I hand it back to her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I guess I'll see you later." She waves, and runs back to the party room.

When I was confident she was gone, I asked aloud, "How? How can he be so heartless?"

May turned to look at me. "Are you still stuck on that? Or…no, that's not like Ash."

I nod "yes". She looks utterly shocked. "You mean…that handkerchief was from you? And he simply forgot that?"

"Believe it." I sigh. "Anyways, what were you saying earlier?"

"I think there's got to be someone out there just for you… just like Drew was there for me. Maybe we don't know who now, but you'll find out someday. "

"Yeah…someday." I repeat the words. A little hope burns within me. "I guess I ought to face the facts now."

"That's the spirit!" May cheers. "Let's head back over and just have fun, right?"

"Right."

_In the end, I knew this would happen. I just hadn't prepared. Honestly, I've always felt a little left in the dust. _I tell myself silently. _Well, I wish you happiness with Dawn, Ash Ketchum. I'm sure I can find someone too, you just wait and see…_

* * *

**For the record, I don't own Pokémon. Or High Touch 2009.**

**In case you are wondering, this is written from Misty's point of view, by a MistyXAsh lover.**

**Please R&R!**


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